Stick that in your pipe and smoke it

Monday, October 02, 2006

No Flies on Mushroom

You leave the house......well and truly stoned, slightly psychadelic. The weather outside is wonderful, nature is nice and you feel nice. Peter Tosh comes on the ipod and you feel an overwhelming sense that everything is alright. You start to strut, entering the local shopping centre....a tad bright a first you resist the urge for sun glasses. Nervous at first you remind yourself that no one else knows you are ripped, except probably the smoked out neighbours. People smile at you, really smile......i must be oozing charm tonight. Even the lady at the checkout is ultra friendly......it is shortly after this that you realise.......your fucking fly has been undone the whole time.

Glad i wasnt free snaking.....

30 Comments:

  • hehehe, does this imply that you're long enough to hang OUTSIDE of your fly if you were 'free-snaking?'

    I thought most willies hung to the left, or right, therefore avoiding the fly exposure.

    Thankyou for this insight into your hang.

    x

    By Blogger Ms Smack, at 8:47 PM  

  • No problems ms smack, this site aims to be as informative as possible.....

    Lets just say it wasnt a cold evening eh?

    By Blogger mushroom, at 10:07 PM  

  • Ahh, Ms Smack, you forget the fashion of wearing jeans somewhere around your upper thigh, which then causes the fly to hang lower and has been known to cause some unsightly snake exposure issues.

    I've heard. Never seen it myself. Honest.

    By Blogger Original Mel, at 10:49 PM  

  • They are probably reviewing that footage in the security room at Woolies as we speak.

    By Blogger MissShroom, at 11:44 PM  

  • Just thank your lucky stars you didn't cross paths with some USDA Choice arse that got you to Baccus Marsh...

    By Blogger Mountjoy, at 12:41 AM  

  • Probably in some suburbia home, you inspired a 'some people are freaky and unsafe' talk from a concerned, observant parent to an innocent child.

    :)

    By Blogger Ms Smack, at 4:31 AM  

  • At least you didnt have dried up toothpaste all over your mouth

    By Blogger Bostick, at 6:35 AM  

  • ha ha.... muah ha ha ha! "Free-snaking"... hA!

    By Blogger essa, at 7:40 AM  

  • No wonder everybody
    was smiling at me today.

    By Blogger Polyman2, at 2:18 PM  

  • The other day I got my heel caught in my skirt as I got out of a taxi. It pulled my skirt down exposing pink lace knickers to the Pakistani cabbie who was very amused. When I got in, he told me I was his lucky passenger because I was the first passenger in his brand new taxi. When I accidentally exposed myself to him, he had a shit-eating grin that suggested perhaps it was his lucky day...

    By Blogger Georgia, at 12:21 AM  

  • cute lol

    By Blogger Ms Smack, at 2:54 AM  

  • what in your opinion is worse; free snaking or flies eyes?

    By Blogger Odly Amore, at 4:04 AM  

  • one of my favorite day time activities is to get stoned and smile at people downtown...

    everyone is much nicer when I'm high.

    By Blogger Molly, at 10:59 AM  

  • Hey, shit happens. That actually happened to me last week. I couldn't fucking figure out why the fuck the cable guy kept smiling at me and looking me up and down. He weirded me out until he left and I realized my fucking fly was down.

    By Blogger BV, at 12:52 PM  

  • Omel - i aint a harry highpants missy.

    misshroom - i'll spare you having to find it on youtube

    mountjoy - USDA .....i'm paranoid now

    ms smack - or at least a limited state of arousal from bored
    suburban housewifes

    bostick - i knew i could stoop lower

    essa - free range are always more expensive

    poly - smiling is better than pointing and laughing

    georgia - i had an old 2 door monaro that a girl couldnt get in or out of without showing some knicker action

    odly - flies eye lol, i thought they were extinct

    molly - i'd need sunnies on for that

    BV - its funny how deep down you kinda suspect somethin isnt right

    By Blogger mushroom, at 7:49 PM  

  • hey Bostick, what happened to your blog dude?

    By Blogger mushroom, at 7:51 PM  

  • XYZ! LOL WTF?
    trying to see how many acronyms I could come up with...

    By Blogger JLee, at 8:46 PM  

  • Are you sure they were smiling at you and not leering at the dirty old perve flashing his willy?

    By Blogger Steph, at 9:20 PM  

  • jlee - you've turned to txt tlking

    steph - but i can do the 'helicoptor' so well

    By Blogger mushroom, at 10:46 PM  

  • Do yoou play submarines in the bathtub?

    By Blogger Georgia, at 4:27 AM  

  • Switch to button flys, Waste-oid!

    They hang way open and you will feel the seabreeze on the lighthouse, if you get my drift.

    By Blogger Zen Wizard, at 9:27 AM  

  • Did you say the cage may be open but the beast is asleep ??

    By Blogger Andrew Glazebrook, at 1:38 PM  

  • USDA (US Dept of Agriculture): the dudes who stamp "choice" in red ink on the really nice pieces of arse, er, I mean meat...

    By Blogger Mountjoy, at 4:47 PM  

  • Yeah, way deep down.

    By Blogger BV, at 6:50 PM  

  • Oh god. Ketchi Shoobi is so fun. But I can't listen to Legalize It without laughing. That bit abouts goats liking to play with it and it being good for asthma is hilarious.

    But I'm jealous of the leisure you're allowed. It's fucking dangerous to stroll around without your guard up in the ATL. Every fool and his brother owns a gun. I can't wait until I move to Spain.

    By Blogger Anita, at 6:56 PM  

  • Worse when someone points it out to you! And laughs...

    By Blogger ChickyBabe, at 7:52 PM  

  • free snaking...ha! Beats Trouser Trout all to hell...

    By Blogger josh williams, at 8:39 PM  

  • Is it wrong for girls to look at a mans crotch? I think not. You guys check out our front bits and bums, right? Whats the diff! We're all imaginging how they'd feel in our mouth, teeth, pink bits, hands!

    By Blogger Ms Smack, at 9:25 PM  

  • Another crazy Australian. I can see you are a fungi too.

    By Blogger L>T, at 7:22 AM  

  • did you have a stiffie?

    By Blogger jungle jane, at 5:04 AM  

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