Stick that in your pipe and smoke it

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Donkey Boy?

Around the world, as you read this, scientist are involved in ground breaking research unlocking the keys to our very nature and existence. For years Dr David Mitchell has been hacking away at the unknowns size. Here's some of his findings:

"The curious thing about our society, most of the time we pretend that the penis doesn't shrink," says David Mitchell, a doctor and a medical anthropologist. "In fact, the penis doesn't have a set flaccid size. It's actually meaningless to measure the size of the penis because it varies from minute to minute according to the temperature and one's state of mind. The trouble is, if you get anxious, it only makes it smaller, to the point where it can disappear … in cases where anxiety spirals into a panic attack."

Dr Mitchell has researched a recent outbreak of these attacks — known as "shrinking penis disease" — on the Indonesian island of Flores, where black magic is widely practised. In these instances, the sufferer believes he will die if his penis disappears. The last outbreak in a modern society occurred in Singapore in 1962, following a rumour that eating pork vaccinated against swine fever would cause shrinking penis disease.

"There were people rushing through the streets holding their penises … some of them using chopsticks," Dr Mitchell says. "As soon as they hit the hospital and started to relax, they came back to normal."

Yeh so guys, if you are worried about your length or girth, DONT! It will shrivel up, disappear and you will DIE.

You heard it first here on STIYPASI..........


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