Endangered Species Need Your Support
- Substantial wrecking yards providing all panels and parts for 1971- 1979 Series Holden Kingswood and the VB-VN series of commodore.
- VB cans. Not those bottled variety, the tend to injure each other with these and it rumoured that without the cans they do not get enough essential metal minerals in their diet.
- Cheap housing with no plants in the front yard. Most bogans will keep a number of partially wrecked cars in their front yards, without this space they could not keep the torana going.
- Free and ready supply of pluggers. The chosen footwear for the bogan has always been the rubber thong. Recent observations have noted that they have adapted to colder climates by wearing football socks with their beloved thongs.
- A Centrelink. As most are employees of the state it is essential that a 'centrelink teller' is nearby.
- Specialist hairdressing 'salons'. Contrary to popular belief a good mullet is hard to come by. Therefore specialists hairdressers (known as shazzas) are required to keep the top short and the back long. This assists with minor mechanical repairs to the Camira by stopping hair getting sucked into the fan belt.
- A tattoo parlour. No self respecting bogan can survive their teens without becoming initiated with a few faded blue green splodges resembling either a sailors anchor, a dagger with a snake around it or a skull.
With protection of these basic essentials, I am certain that the decline of bogans in existing areas can be stopped. Next we have to encourage bogan culture back to areas where they are now extinct.
A number of Local Councils have started an initiative that has seen scores of boganfolk reappearing in my lovely suburb of Leichhardt. So next Council cleanup day, put as much broken furniture and rubbish on the footpath and sit back just out of view and wait for their return.