Just thought i'd share something really special with you people....
I love nothing more than to go for a run after work, in fact i love flogging myself running. Nothing feels better than to get home afterwards and bring the mind down the same flogged level. I know i am a sick sado-maso weirdo, but hey - whatever floats your boat right?
Anyway, the downside to all this running is that certain bits of the body rub together and cause a nasty little bit of chafe......aka saddle rash or 'john wayne' (howdy partner).
In this day and age, i decided that chemists must surely have something to help me with my predicament. So after some hesitation I finally plucked up the courage to visit the chemist over the road from work.
I was hoping no one that i knew would be in there, unfortunately the place was filled with familiar faces of those people you see around work and really only ever say 'Hi" to. After what seemed like an eternity, my place came at the counter. Sheepishly and quietly i explained my predicament to the pharmacist, hoping he would realise that discretion would be appreciated. This was not to be, and he bellowed the fatal "i've got just the thing for your nasty rash" at the top of his lungs and proceeded to the vaseline section. Then proudly he held aloft, for all to see, a giant jar of oozing and lovely petroleum jelly. By now all eyes were curiously on him and myself.
Just when I thougt it couldnt get any worse, with a full audience, he proceeded to demonstrate how to apply said vaseline to between ones legs.
So, if you saw a bloke shame facedly buying vaseline from the chemist the other day.....YES I LIKE TO PURCHASE VASELINE TO APPLY BETWEEN MY LEGS TO RELIEVE AN AFFLICTION RELATED TO SOMETHING I ENJOY.
That is all, you may snicker behind my back............
27 Comments:
An ex bf used to do that... and he was proud of telling the story!
By ChickyBabe, at 3:33 AM
http://www.antimonkeybutt.com/
What you need
By JBoombostick, at 8:16 AM
Oh dear! Why don't you just wear spandex under your shorts?
By essa, at 8:59 AM
hahahaha...better not ask advice if you get hemmorhoids. (I have no idea if I spelled that right)
By JLee, at 12:00 PM
He actually did you a favor saying, "nasty rash."
There's some worse stuff that it could be used for: Don't think "John Wayne," think "Anthony Quinn on top of Alan Bates in Zorba the Greek."
By Zen Wizard, at 2:19 PM
Shroom, those clever Japanese even have a word for that nasty heat-related friction rash; matazure.
My golf bag always contained a tube of matazure-cream in Tokyo.
They even had little cubicles around the course so myself and my fellow sufferers could re-apply in private...
By fingers, at 4:26 PM
I prefer to snigger in your face if that's ok.
Baahahahahahah!!
My brother uses corn powder or curash baby powder. He's into long distance running and knows of your affliction.
By Steph, at 7:26 PM
i cant believe you embarassed yourself by going to the chemist with this question... i thought EVERYONE knew about this...
and i only know from my days of chasing triathletes. imagine the chafe of running post swim... eww!
By Mex, at 10:52 PM
*snickers*
By lady miss marquise, at 12:46 AM
You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of & I'm not larfing.......honestly.......!
I've heard of guys using Caneston (vaginal cream for thrush) when they can't get stuff for athletes foot. If it stops the itching, what the hell?
By Jayne, at 3:01 AM
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhaha
Would have been less embarassing to ask a mate, or your mum, mushy.
By Ms Smack, at 3:01 AM
Yeah, it could have been worse. Could have been a hell of a lot better though. I think chemists get a certain amount of pleasure doing this kind of shit to people. I guess you can't blame them for trying to spice up what must be a rather disgruntled existence.
By Mel, at 4:41 AM
The unspoken tragedy of chafing is the post-chafe-addiction.
Not unlike the morphine disasters in Vietnam.
It's been 6 years since my last chafing attack yet I'm still putting that cream on my thighs every day.
The horror...
By fingers, at 4:11 PM
About time you lads got something uncomfortable and embarassing - lordy knows, us stronger women have been putting up with similar shit for years!
By Ms Smack, at 6:12 AM
Chafing is a big problem
now-a-days.
By Polyman3, at 11:52 AM
'About time you lads got something uncomfortable and embarassing...'
I did.
But she left me 7 years ago...
By fingers, at 3:57 PM
hehe
By Ms Smack, at 4:45 PM
Cbabe - loud AND proud eh?
Georgia - I might start a support group?
bostick - antimonketbutt, who would have ever expected that combo of words
essa - spandex was part of the problem
jlee - it might be easier to amputate my butt cheeks
zen dude - think "Anthony Quinn on top of Alan Bates in Zorba the Greek." Um i dont know what to say lol
Fingers - perhaps creating a word for it is half way to solving the problem?
steph - respect my authoritor
mex - i had heard rumours but just thought "it cant be?". Are there any legit uses for vasso?
LMM - thanks *blushes*
Jin - i should have posted before i went to the chemist
Ms Smack - um mum, i've got this rash.....
Odly - i'm sure they aim to embarass....i bet he has crabs or some other nasty secret
misshhroom - you're the only one who noticed
By mushroom, at 8:52 PM
You could have avoided the embarrasing nasty rash senario... by insinuating it was for anal related pleasure :D
By Anonymous, at 10:48 PM
There is no need to be ashamed!
Let it out and be proud, ha! :)
By Mone, at 5:50 AM
Next time tell him you want something to stop corrosion of your car battery terminals.
By Tickersoid, at 7:15 AM
I run during lunch. I have no skin on the inside of either one of my thighs because I refuse to go to the pharmacist/chemist and buy some Vaseline. It is far more manly to run along with blood pouring down my legs and to walk like a man with testicular cancer for the entire rest of the day than to wipe ones groin with Vaseline.
Although it was quite a good idea and I may secretly try it. But don't tell anyone.
By Memphis, at 3:39 PM
I think he said, "Zorba, I am forever greatful. You taught me there was a life outside of books and the classroom."
By Zen Wizard, at 9:07 AM
sigh. do i have to tell you everything?
1. stop running
2. commmence vigorous wanking
3. apply the vaseline
result? equal embarrassmnet but heaps more orgasms.
you're welcome....
By jungle jane, at 3:25 PM
Très drole. Reminds me of an arsehole flatmate who used to keep a Giant-Sized jar of moisturiser under his bed for you know what. He did the wrong thing by me so I moved out and left the jar on top of his VCR and left it playing hard-core Porn at Full Volume with the "Repeat" button selected so the neighbours would hopefully have to get the Cops to break in and turn it off. Have some of that!
By welcome to wallyworld, at 1:12 AM
This comment has been removed by the author.
By Skanky Jane, at 9:27 PM
Have you tried 3B?
By Enny, at 5:34 PM
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