Food for thought..

If you were out late one night and really really stoned and everything was closed and the only thing you could munch down happened to be the edible underwear you were wearing would you eat it?

Guess who's back, mushrooms back...

To the lady on Victoria Road earlier this week that decided that it would be wise to wee in their lunch box before getting on the bus, I thank you.

Ever since this incident I feel like i have undergone some sort of personal rennaissance of sorts. The details were brilliant, the fact that people were crowded around you oblivious to the fact that you had just pulled down you pants and were rummaging around in your bag for something. The fact that when the bus showed up you were midstream and decided to jettison said urine from lunchbox onto adjacent office window......I know there is a desk right there too. I dont know how you made it onto the bus with that lunch box but here's to you.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would witness such a spectacle on my journey from the building, normally its the same mundane routine. You see routine bores me, I like the unexpected to happen. It makes my day.

I was feeling beaten down by the oppression of responsibility and repetitiveness and then BANG you showed me that it can happen. You see anything can and will happen and it is only limited by our limited ability to conjur the unthinkable. The possibilities are in fact BOUNDLESS.

Piss lady, thankyou and good luck with your journey.

Donkey Boy?

Around the world, as you read this, scientist are involved in ground breaking research unlocking the keys to our very nature and existence. For years Dr David Mitchell has been hacking away at the unknowns about...um...snicker.....penis size. Here's some of his findings:

"The curious thing about our society, most of the time we pretend that the penis doesn't shrink," says David Mitchell, a doctor and a medical anthropologist. "In fact, the penis doesn't have a set flaccid size. It's actually meaningless to measure the size of the penis because it varies from minute to minute according to the temperature and one's state of mind. The trouble is, if you get anxious, it only makes it smaller, to the point where it can disappear … in cases where anxiety spirals into a panic attack."

Dr Mitchell has researched a recent outbreak of these attacks — known as "shrinking penis disease" — on the Indonesian island of Flores, where black magic is widely practised. In these instances, the sufferer believes he will die if his penis disappears. The last outbreak in a modern society occurred in Singapore in 1962, following a rumour that eating pork vaccinated against swine fever would cause shrinking penis disease.

"There were people rushing through the streets holding their penises … some of them using chopsticks," Dr Mitchell says. "As soon as they hit the hospital and started to relax, they came back to normal."

Yeh so guys, if you are worried about your length or girth, DONT! It will shrivel up, disappear and you will DIE.

You heard it first here on STIYPASI..........

Identiskitz

"Police have released an image of a man wanted after a cigarette was stubbed near the eye of a toddler in a Sydney street"

Does anyone actually look like the people that you see in these police identikits? Speak now or forever be um nasty looking........